Encounters, Canadian

In a recent review for the inexplicably Ennie-nominated adventure compilation The Scenario [sic] From Ontario, Anonymous (presumably an anonymous individual, not the organization) left the following comment:

As a Canadian, I feel as though the heavy-handed stereotyping should offend me more.

It’d be like if I wrote an adventure called “Death & Texas”, and the random encounter table was like “1d4 bald eagles, 2d4 rednecks, guy in a coonskin cap, a revolver golem, lynch mob, 1d6 Coca Cola oozes”

Just grab basically every surface level thing you’ve heard about a place and throw it all together, eh?
It’d be like if I wrote an adventure called “Death & Texas”, and the random encounter table was like “1d4 bald eagles, 2d4 rednecks, guy in a coonskin cap, a revolver golem, lynch mob, 1d6 Coca Cola oozes”
Just grab basically every surface level thing you’ve heard about a place and throw it all together, eh?

Putting aside the question of the existence of any Canadianness outside of heavy-handed stereotyping, I thought I would offer a suggestion as to a more nuanced and realistic random encounter selection for adventuring in Canada. Because of the distinctive cultural differences between urban and rural Canada, I have elected to present a table for each environment:

CANADIAN WILDERNESS ENCOUNTERS (1d6)
1. Angel, Stone (1)
2. Labourer (clad in lion-skins) (1d6)
3. Patient, English (1)
4. Manticore, The (1)
5. Solitude, Twin (2)
6. If rolled while in barrens: Lost. Otherwise: Viking Grave, Cursed

URBAN CANADIAN ENCOUNTERS (1d6)
1. Maritimer, Unemployed (1d3) and 2 in 6 chance of Quebecois, Unemployed (1d2)
2. Film shoot, low-budget SF (2d8 crew, 1d6 actors (recognizable: 2 in 6 chance))
3. Film shoot, local comedy (2d8 crew, 1d3 actors (recognizable: 1 in 6 chance))
4. Fang, Hooded (1)
5. Drome, Video
6. Flesh, New (1d6)